This is a list of “truisms” that are quite funny but also may be a bit close to home! Good to drop into an after dinner speech or share now and then in the bar.
- A two-foot putt counts the same as a two-foot drive.
- Never wash your ball on the tee of a water hole.
- The only sure way to get a par is to leave a four-foot birdie putt two inches short.
- It’s as easy to lower your handicap as it is to reduce your hat size.
- If you really want to be better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
- It takes 17 holes to get warmed up.
- No golfer ever swung too slowly.
- No golfer ever played too fast.
- No matter how badly you are playing, it’s always possible to play worse.
- The odds of hitting a duffed shot increase by the square of the number of people watching.
- Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
- The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
- The rake is always in the other bunker.
- The wind is in your face on 16 of the 18 holes.
- Nothing straightens out a nasty slice quicker than a sharp dogleg to the right.
- The ball always lands where the pin was yesterday.
- You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.
- For right-handed golfers, out of bounds is always on the right.
- Your straightest iron shot of the day will be exactly one club short.
- A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
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