Our favourite golf jokes – if you know any good ones, please add them as a comment or use our contact form to let us know.
- Pregnant women joke The ante natal class room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”
Now, “Gentlemen, remember — you’re in this together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both.”
The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
After a few moments a man at the back of the room named James slowly raised his hand.
“Yes?” said the Instructor.
James pondered while carefully choosing his words, “I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”
- The Mulligan
Verne was teeing off from the men’s tee. On his downswing, he realized that his wife, Joy, was teeing up on the woman’s tee directly in front of him. Unable to stop his swing, he nailed it, and hit her directly in the temple, killing her instantly. A few days later, Verne got a call from the coroner regarding her autopsy.
Coroner : “Verne, your wife seemed to have died from blunt force trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the temple, is that correct?”
Verne : “Yes, sir, that’s correct.” Coroner : “Well, inexplicably I found a bruise with a golf ball imprint on her leg as well”.
Verne : “Was it a Titleist 3?”
Coroner : “Yes, it was.”
Verne : “That was my mulligan.”